Monday 25 March 2013

You know what really grinds my gears?I

Welcome to my second instalment of, "You know what really grinds my gears. This is the driving edition. Now, I am a stay at home mom. Which simply means that on most given days you can find me at the mall. Usually just circling the perimeter, force feeding my kids junk, and trying to survive until naptime. So, needless to say, I do a lot of driving. And let me tell you, there are some legit shitty drivers out there. Which I'm sure you know. But in case you don't, let's go through a list of my biggest driving pet peeves.

The driver that won't pull into the intersection.
You know who I'm talking about. The light turns green, and you, and a whole line of cars are in the left turning lane. Only one little problem, the asshole at the front of the line is still sitting behind the white line. Which pretty much means, he will sit there until traffic clears, and he can go, or the more likely scenario, he will sit there until the light turns yellow, and then when the cars slow down, he will make his turn while the rest of us stay right where we are knowing that we can't make the light. Seriously, dude? Look, I'm not asking you to drive into oncoming traffic. All I ask is that you inch forward just a bit, just enough so that when you make your move after that light turns yellow.....I can follow you!

The asskisser
This is the driver that can't seem to back the eff off! The driver that will ride your ass until you reach your destination. The guy/girl that has ample opportunity to pass you,but chooses not to.  For some reason they are content to stay as close to you as possible. No matter how much hand waving/finger gesturing is thrown at them. What's even better is if this person follows you at night....with their high beams on. Oh yeah, that's totally awesome. You may be blind, but hey, they can see what type of interior you car has!

The "braker"
I had no idea what to call this person. But this seemed to fit. Now, this is the driver that brakes for everything. Now, I totally understand being a cautious driver, I have 3 kids that I drive around daily. Caution is my middle name.....but there is a line. This is the person that will put on their brakes for a stoplight, like a km before they reach it. The person who slams on their brakes when they see a car pullout in front of them....3 blocks away. The person whom you just  cannot follow, because anytime they go around any type of bend or curve, you have to slow down to a crawl because they are so brake happy you may hit them. Do you know this person?? Is this you?? Stop it! Little word of advice, just take your foot off the gas pedal. See, works, doesn't it!

The asshole on the cellphone
Seriously, stop that shit before you kill someone...

The bicyclist that rides on the road, yet doesn't follow the rules of the road
Now, I haven't seen this in cities or towns. But in the country, where I live. Oh my God! Cycling is great exercise, I know this,you know this, and apparently a bunch of "older" citizens got the memo, too. Now, before anyone gets all, "don't make fun of seniors trying to keep in shape!" I'm not making fun of anyone. I think it's fabulous when I see seniors on bikes! It is a great way to stay in shape, and I commend them. But...that doesn't give them a pass to ride along like they have the right of way. And trust me, that is how many of them ride. I'm sure that's not what they're thinking, but they really aren't being safe. I have had cyclists pull out in front of me, I've seen them completely disregard stop signs, and I've seen them riding on the wrong side of the road, which is just plain dangerous, especially after dark. Remember, we need to share the road, which means, a little drivers education wouldn't hurt.

The litterbug
Nothing gets me more pissed off than a litterbug. Does nobody care about the Earth?? But, what's worse, is the litterbug that disposes of their disgusting garbage going 90km down the road. It makes me so sad to take a walk down my road, in the middle of fucking nowhere, and see McDonalds bags, Tim Hortons cups, and enough beer cans/bottles to buy another case! Don't be an asshole, drop that shit off into an actual garbage can. Or just toss it into the back of your vehicle, like I do.;)

This guy
Seriously, give the fuck up...now.

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