Now lets see how many page views I get;)
Now, there are many things that I'd like to say about sex....but as I've said before, this blog is public, and I've learned recently that my husband is very private about what goes on in our bedroom. Who knew? So, I figured I would make a post about sex that I'm sure most women, mothers especially can relate to.
How?? How do you find the time? How do you find the energy? How do you mentally get yourself there, you know what I mean. Guys can turn it on in a second, I'd love to be able to do that. But, I can't. So, when my husband is ready, I either turn him down, put on a happy face, and pray to be thinking about anything other than tomorrow's grocery list while we're getting busy, and/or become the best actress ever, and fake it. Now, before you get the wrong idea, I have never had a bad time in bed with my husband. It's always enjoyable, and faking it, most of the time, is just to give him a confidence boost....and depending on the night, speed things along;) But, I'm always really upset with myself that when he is in the mood the first thing that comes to my mind is, "Really? I don't feel like it." I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
I stay home all day with 3 kids. Now, I know that no matter what job you happen to do during the day, you inevitably will be tired when you get home. So, I'm definitely not using the SAHM thing as an excuse. But, with that being said, I'm exhausted about 97% of the day, until about 10:00pm. Then my brain wants to party, hence the late night blog posts. A typical day for me goes like this; Between 5-6am wake up with Logan, feed him and most days out him back to bed. I usually crawl back into bed after he goes down around 7am...and that's pretty much the time the other 2 wake up. So, I have to get up. The rest of the day consists of feedings/diaper changes/making meals/laundry/tidying/vacuum/mop/tidy again/and a little yelling, and crying in between(me, and the kids) By the time Rob walks through the door around 6:30, I'm done. I start counting down the time until Logan goes to bed. And after that I usually sit in bed with my laptop, and relax until I can fall asleep. After the kids go to sleep(in our bed) if Rob, or I happen to still be awake, which is rare. He will start with the "Lets go to the couch and "snuggle" Yeah, real subtle. And I think to myself, "Seriously? I'm nice and comfortable, and you want me to get up, and go to the couch to "snuggle" with you? Are you high? Then we argue a little. Apparently I'm not attracted to him anymore, or I have "issues" Or my fave "Why can't we have sex like we did when we first moved in together?" Well, maybe because we didn't have any fucking kids! And nobody sleeping in our bed or keeping us, and by us i mean ME up half the night. Good enough reason for ya?! Guys really are dense sometimes...
I love my husband. But, I am tired. Like, tired in my bones. I don't get enough sleep, I am stressed to the limit, I am struggling with PPD which is just the icing on the cake. I have been telling myself lately that maybe we should like make a sex calendar? I'm not sure if people do this or not, but I almost feel like we have sex more often when we plan it, as lame as that sounds. I guess I just wonder if there are women out there who are able to deal with the kids all day, or do anything all day, spend time with their family in the evening, and still find time to bang their husbands regularly? If you are out there....you are my hero.