Monday, 22 April 2013

You know what really grinds my gears??

Tonight is going to be fun. I am doing a mishmash of some of mine, and I'm sure other people's biggest annoyances. Because lists are fun!

-Couples that sit on the same side of the booth. Motherfucking gag! Seriously?? You just can't bear to be separated, even if it's just long enough to choke down a big Mac? Well, let me just look fucking ridiculous. Like you might as well be on each others lap. What do you think is going to happen if you sit across from one another? Like, I'm honestly asking you this question. Is he going to accidentally have sex with another woman, because you're not velcroed to his side? Is she going to eye up all the seniors enjoying their lunch, get freaked out about spending eternity with you, and bolt? WHAT?! Seriously, stop this shit.

-People who use the bathroom stall right next to yours.  Even when there are like a billion empty ones. Now, I don't need to go into detail why this is annoying. But, it's pretty much the equivalent of when my 3 year old sits on a stool facing me while I try to "do my business" I don't need an audience. I mean, I am in the stall waaaaaaay in the back. Did that not give you any clue? If this is you.....stop it! Do you know how sad it is that I have to poop at the mall just to get some privacy?! Well, you're fucking that up...

-Open this without killing yourself.....I dare you. Why do they make it so hard to open??!! I just want my new memory card!

-Getting "glitterbombed" Now, I realize that glitterbomb is not a real word, but it is now. I have a 6 year old daughter. Do you wanna know what every little girl's birthday card/fancy bag/clothing/and most toys, is covered in? That's right, glitter! Glitter everywhere! I swear, it has been a fucking year since her last birthday party, and there is still glitter everywhere. WTF?! It's a 6 years old's birthday party....not a dirty ass strip club where Ke$ha performs!

-Unexpected company.  am going to swear to you right now, that I am very OCD about the tidiness of my house. But I'm sure there are people who would disagree with me, because they have just happened to show up at my house unexpectedly. Now, not to knock people that do this, I mean, you're in the area, you wanna stop by. Awesome! Just give me a good 15 minutes. Because I guarantee to you, that my house is spotless, until the day when you decide to drop in. That's the day that my kids have succeeded in reducing me to a sweaty, sobbing mess, that just doesn't give a shit that the laundry is everywhere, and the dishes are piling up.  That is the day I am counting down the hours until bedtime....or,it's the weekend. I don't clean on the weekend. ;)

-"No offense" Yeah, well. No offense, but what you just said was fucking offensive.

-Usage of the "R" word, or any other racial/homophobic/all around assholeish slur. Welcome to 2013, we're all equal. Get the fuck over it!

-PEOPLE WHO TYPE EVERYTHING LIKE THIS. Stop yelling,and calm the fuck down.

-This spider in my shower.  No, just no...

-People who call numbers that were on their caller ID....even if they have no idea who it is. This is so strange to me. I often call the wrong number, but don't realize it until it's started ringing, so I hang up in a panic, and carry on. Until 5 minutes later, the phone rings. "Hello?" "Yeah, someone from this number just called here." "Yeah, that was me, I dialed the wrong number." "Alright, bye." What was the point of that??!! Guess what,if they know you, and are actually trying to get a hold of you, they will call back, or leave you a message!

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